Culling the Herd: Negativity

Cull

–noun

4.

act of culling.

5.

something culled, esp. something picked out and put aside as inferior.

Recently, I ran into one of our old training partners during a solo AM workout; for posterity I'll call him Homer J. Homer J trains hard and does a lot of the same lifts that we do; typically good qualities to have in a partner, right? About a year ago, Homer J was culled from our training group. I hadn't really considered the ins and outs of why that happened; it's just something that occurred naturally and was so subtle that we barely noticed until he was gone.

I realize that the culling process happens fairly naturally in the gym; it's natural selection in a very simple and organic way. In the business world or in our relationships, the culling process can be messy and difficult. I'm reminded of a conversation I had at a farmer's market with a bison rancher. I had asked about coming to see the ranch and getting a tour; the exchange was as follows: 

"Sure! We'll give you some alfalfa and you can go feed the bison"

"Wouldn't that be dangerous?"

"Oh heck no; our herd are happy and docile. If we have any troublemakers we ship them off to the slaughterhouse ASAP. It only takes one to impact and stress the herd and it's not worth it to keep them around."

If it's good enough for bison ranchers...

 

You know those days when you walk into the gym or meet up with your group and you can just FEEL the positive energy? If you haven't then I highly suggest you look into finding a different gym because it is palpable in the right environment and it's easy to tap into it and feed off.  People are getting after it, trash talking and hurting but they're genuinely enjoying the process and their partners. This is what happens when you get a group of people together who have GOALS that they are working towards rather than applying blind effort. This is a great example of positive herd mentality and it only takes one person to completely change the dynamics of an environment.

A typical session would start like this: we would trickle in, start to warm up, talk about the workout, joke around and trash talk a bit. Homer J would have none of the laughing and not offer much in the way of input besides "F^#& that; I'm not doing that tonight" or "Oh you gonna blow everyone away tonight?". The translation for this is "I feel like garbage; wouldn't it feel good to feel like garbage together?" These attacks served their purpose of deflating everyone and the group gets quiet in a hurry. In an environment where communication is vital, an attack like this is essentially the nuclear option for positive feedback loops.

Once we move on to our first exercise (typically a heavy press or squat), the trend continues and exponentially grows. Homer J doesn't offer coaching tips. Homer J doesn't hold the boards or foam for pressing. Homer J doesn't spot or offer hand-offs...actually this one isn't entirely correct: we didn't ALLOW him to spot or hand-off because it's too important.  Homer J might offer a "nice lift man" but it's followed by a "looks like that's it for you today". Nothing overly aggressive; typically negativity works best in passive-aggressive tones. This way, if/when the attacker is called out they can retreat under the guise of "Jeez I'm just kidding guys; don't get your panties in a bunch", thereby deflecting blame onto someone else for being overly aggressive. The rest of the day usually continues this way, with assistance and ab work usually done with consternation while undermining everyone else.

Body by Duff

In short: Homer J isn't really a member of the group; he's an island in a landlocked country. He might train very hard and push himself but he isn't a member of the group because he isn't making a positive contribution to anything besides himself. In fact, he's a detriment to the group through his negative actions, emotions and running commentary. This goes back to the whole point of training in a group: to make each other better. I can only speak for myself, but I believe first and foremost it's my responsibility to make everyone else in the group better. Through my partners' victories and PR's, my own will come. This is part of the reason you see training groups celebrate PRs; everyone in that group has a hand in that lifter's record so everyone shares in the achievement. I'll be the first to admit that I'm much more amped and excited for my partners' records than my own.     

So how do we fix (or minimize the impact of) negativity? We all have our days where it seems like nothing goes right; that cannot carry over into the gym and to your partners. It's doing a disservice to your partners. If you're having a bad day and you just can't get it out of your head, focus on your partners and focus on making them better. I've had those days where I was so head-f'd that I didn't even train; I handed off, spotted and coached all night. You'll feel those negative feelings fading away with each set, Deflecting your thoughts and focus away from yourself and towards others typically has a positive impact on your frame of mind as well as the people around you and, in my experience, leads to good things in and out of the gym.